


revelations

by imaginejolls



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/F, Feelings? What are those?, Gentle Sex, Injury Recovery, Post-Season/Series 03, monogamy is a social construct and no cheating takes place over the course of this fic, tagged Explicit to be safe but i'm pretty sure i am over-rating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-02-01 05:34:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21399232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginejolls/pseuds/imaginejolls
Summary: “Orgasms alleviate pain, you know.”What?“We could try that, it’s science.”Right.
Relationships: Camina Drummer/Naomi Nagata
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	revelations

**Author's Note:**

> all thanks to 2 of my dear friends for looking this over for me and assuring me it's good to go

The worst thing about her new spine is that Camina feels _everything_. At first the pain is so unbearable that she has to be pumped full of drugs, and the world becomes soft and out of focus, with no real edges. She dreams of Naomi's face and wakes up looking for her. When she awakens properly, embarrassement seizes her chest. Naomi isn't here. 

The doctor starts weaning her off the drugs and the pain is still horrible. But Camina grits her teeth and sucks it up. It's what she's been doing her whole life; it's what she's good at. And Naomi swings by. Real, solid presence by her bedside, with that soft look on her face and softer hands. She doesn't fret. But she does bring an assortment of board games. Drummer laughs in her face and beats her three times in a row. Naomi is smiling but there's a sadness in her eyes that Camina hates she's even picking up on.

Learning to walk again sucks. Her legs feel as heavy as if they were made from lead and every single step she takes hurts. But Camina pushes through the fog of pain, onwards and onwards, until she’s mobile enough to walk down to where Naomi is staying. They play more games. Drummer is starting to suspect Naomi for letting her win but then she loses at chess, so maybe not. It’s good, this. Spending time together and talking and laughing. Sometimes Naomi has her help fixing things, and that’s also good but also frustrating. Her hands can fix the broken consoles and radios, but they can’t fix her own body. She’s reminded of it every time she moves the wrong way. A sharp flare of pain shooting from her spine. She cries in her bed sometimes, hopeless tears running down her temples and into her hair. It’s fine. She’s going to be fine. 

She’s walking down the corridor to Naomi’s rooms, the slow drag of her feet clicking softly against the floors. It takes her less time than it used to to get here. Camina feels her pride bubble up in her chest briefly. It’s a progress, that’s good. She’s almost there was she runs into Holden. Well, Holden almost knocks her off her feet, but steadies her with his huge hands on her arms. Drops them immediately upon receiving her death glare. 

“Hey,” he says, as casual as ever. “Heading to see Naomi?” 

Drummer nods. “Planning on stealing her.” 

“Good luck with that.” And then he’s hurrying off somewhere with a short “See you!” 

Drummer mutters something about him being insufferable and knocks on Naomi’s door. It swings open and she enters, shutting it behind herself again. Naomi is fiddling with something on the desk. She looks up at Camina and smiles. It makes Drummer weak in the knees. She’s glad she can flop down on a chair right away. 

“You ready to get your ass beaten again?” Naomi asks, her teeth flashing in a teasing grin. 

“I’m ready for a good bottle of gin.” 

Naomi regards her for a long moment. “How bad is it today?” 

Camina folds her arms in front of her chest and looks at the clutter on Naomi’s desk. “Not terrible.” 

There’s a sigh, not hers. When she looks at Naomi she sees a worry clouding her expression. She doesn’t know what to do about it. 

“Orgasms alleviate pain, you know.” 

What?

“We could try that, it’s science.” 

Right. 

“You want me to sleep with you right now?” Camina checks. 

Naomi shoots her a smile. “Well, technically, I want you to let me fuck you.” 

“Just like that, huh? Think I’ve gone soft?” 

Naomi almost rolls her eyes. She turns to face Camina and her knees knock against hers softly. 

“Please, Camina, let me. I want to take care of you.” 

It feels like a punch to her stomach, one that knocks the wind out of her. Camina struggles for a breath, looking away. She can’t remember the last time someone offered to take care of her. Someone who wasn’t paid to do it, anyway. 

“Okay,” she says, surprising herself. 

Naomi smiles and leans forward until their faces are inches apart. She hovers there. Camina is the one to cross the last stretch of distance. The kiss is soft. Just a brush of their mouths against one another, with no real hunger behind it. To Camina it feels like coming home. Naomi hums against her lips and when Camina peeks at her, she sees that Naomi is smiling. She kisses her again.

“What are you smiling about?” she wonders aloud.

“I just missed this,” Naomi says like it’s not a big deal. 

Camina tries to hide how much those words mean to her with a rushed kiss. 

The walk over to the bed is short, but it’s still such a relief to be lying down. Camina exhales and closes her eyes. Now what? She feels Naomi settle down beside her and when she looks at her, Naomi is leaning over her, smiling. 

“Let me know if I’m hurting you,” she says before dipping down and kissing Camina again. 

Yeah, no. Camina wouldn’t do anything to let this stop. She wraps her arms around Naomi’s back and pulls her closer, until she can feel the warmth of her body directly on top of hers. 

It takes a long while before they untangle. Naomi presses kisses down Camina’s jaw and neck until she’s met with the collar of the light sweatshirt Camina is wearing. Naomi smiles up at her, all mischief, and Camina is certain she’s had an idea. And then Naomi bends down to the zipper, takes it in between her teeth and drags it open, giggling to herself about it. She’s too damn cute. Camina tilts her chin up with a laugh. Her sweatshirt hangs open by her sides.

When Naomi moves further down Camina’s body, taking off her clothes, panic rises in Camina’s chest as she realizes that: “Wait, I don’t think I can-” _reciprocate. Repay the favour. Do anything at all to make you feel good._

“This isn’t about me,” Naomi says, “don’t worry about it.” And that’s it. Camina’s entire universe is shaken up by this and yet Naomi is so casual about it. The knot in her stomach is probably more nervousness than arousal at this point. 

There’s not a silence. There never is, unless you’re out in the cold vastness of space. But you get used to the constant hum and thrum of the station and the ships that you no longer register them until you’re lying flat on your back with a woman between your legs and no way to please her. This feels wrong. 

“Hey,” Camina feels more than hears spoken into the soft skin between her hip bone and her crotch, “I can stop if you want me to. I just… want to help.” 

Of course she does. Damn her and her innate need to fix things. Camina runs her fingers down the side of Naomi’s face, gentle and fleeting. 

“Go on, then.” 

She’s awarded a kiss and then another dozen. When Naomi finally licks into her, it’s nothing like the times before. There’s no desperation, no urgency buzzing underneath their skin. It’s just Naomi wanting to care for her, Naomi and her impossibly big heart and gentle touch and unwavering patience. It tugs on Camina’s heart harder than she’d like it to. 

Naomi works her up and up and up, and it probably takes ages. No way to tell time like this. All she can do is focus on her breathing and Naomi’s mouth on her, so damn clever, and the tension coiling low in her belly. When her orgasm finally takes her, it’s long and all-encompassing and fucking cathartic. Naomi deserves some credit. 

“Pashang,” Camina chuckles out at last. 

“Good?” Naomi smiles up at her from in between Camina’s legs. She looks good like this, mouth shiny and smiling, eyes warm and bright, her hands contrasting with Camina’s pale skin.

“Yeah,” Camina says. It could have been great, were it not for the dull ache around her spine. “Come here.” 

She holds out her hands and waits for Naomi to tuck herself into Camina’s embrace. Camina takes a long breath and her eyes drift closed. Naomi’s hair doesn’t really smell like anything, but it’s still nice to burrow her nose into it as she holds Naomi close. Maybe this is what love is about, Camina muses. Letting someone else take care of you even if you can’t pay them back for their kindness.


End file.
